Foreword
It must be noted, and strongly, that the following story is purely a piece of fan-fiction.The characters, locations and settings that feature are purely the work of the writers, actors and producers of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
In writing this, I am in no way attempting to pass myself off as anything but an ardent fan.
This is a story that was inspired by Amber Benson, who I met in November 2003 at "An Evening With Amber".
It was her devotion to the character, and her desecription of where she went as an actor to depict Tara that led me to wonder.
Just what was happening in her life before she met Willow.
This is my attempt at answering my own questions.
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Arrival
The highway was virtually deserted, only a few cars on it, despite the fact it was almost the traditional morning rush hour.
Sunnydale seemed to be one town no-one commuted to or from. Only one vehicle, a aluminum sided bus, made it's way towards the town.
It passed a cheesy sign, "Welcoming" people to Sunnydale.
The buses few occupants barely acknowledged the passing of this sign, most were either dozing lightly or reading.
The bus's brakes squealed & hissed loudly as it pulled into the station. It stuttered to a halt, and the engine died with a rattling gasp.
The noise of rain bouncing off the steel roof grew in intensity and Tara Maclay looked out of the grimy, rain-streaked window she sat beside and saw Sunnydale for the first time.
The station looked dirty and un-welcoming.
The man in the seat beside her stood up and stretched his arms to the roof. He yawned noisily, then, without the slightest acknowledgement of Tara.
He retrieved his bags from the storage rack overhead and left the bus without a look back.
Tara sat for a long moment, chewing on her bottom lip. She debated whether she should stop here and start the new life she had dreamt of, or continue.
She wondered just how far this bus could take her from what she had left behind. The driver, looking back at her, made Tara notice she was alone on the bus now.
With a ghost of a smile, she stood and pulled her crumpled bag from the rack and dragged it off the bus.
For a long moment, she stood in the rain, looking up at the grey skies and letting the water trickle from her face. Then her self-awareness returned, and she lowered her gaze to the asphalt and began the trek towards the station.
Inside, Tara spent several minutes trying to decipher the faded & torn map that had been put on the wall.
She saw the UC Sunnydale campus markings, and began to work out a route.
With her spirit slightly boosted by the fact she was here finally, she stepped out of the station and walked towards her new home.
She walked through the town, glancing at the variety of stores that made up the main street. A coffee shop here, a cinema there. Her eyes drifted to a small shop that stood in a corner.
Tara blinked a little at the name. "The Magic Box", The sight of the magic shop gave Tara's heart a small boost and put a little spring in her step.
She quickly resolved to visit it as soon as she could.
When she entered the UC Sunnydale campus, her eyes grew wide.
The sheer number of people scared her. Her breathing sped up and she clutched her bags tightly and tried to find the quietest route to her dorm building.
She slipped in through the doorway and made her way up the stairs to her floor. When she finally reached her assigned room, Tara knocked softly on the door. The fear that this was the wrong room, or that her room-mate would be in there, grew and she turned to walk away.
As she did, the door opened and a girl looked out at her inquisitively. Tara, looking at her feet, stammered out a explanation why she had been pounding on this girls door.
"H... Hi, um, I, I think this is, er, my r-room?" Tara stopped, waiting for the inevitable news she was at the wrong door, or in the wrong building, or even the wrong state.
Her relief when the girl nodded and opened the door wider, was palpable.
"You must be Tara, Hi, I'm Paige."
Tara smiled and nodded as she put her bag on the bed she assumed was hers.
She glanced around the room, seeing that Paige had already decorated half of it with various posters, including some bizarrely named band posters.
Chibo Mato, and one called Dingoes Ate My Baby. Tara blinked, wondering where such a name had come from, then glanced at her own, single, bag.
Stuffed with a few clothes and a few books, it represented everything she owned.
She unzipped the bag, then began to pull creased, crumpled clothing out, she opened the top drawer of a chest near the bed.
She felt guilty when she saw all her clothing barely filled the drawer. Paige glanced over at Tara and smiled.
"Travel light huh? No matter, it's a good excuse to hit the mall"
Paige's grin was infectious and Tara felt herself smile in response, she even giggled when Paige continued.
"Actually, any excuse to hit the mall is a good excuse in my book." her grin spread "In fact, books are good excuses, at least that's what I tell my dad I'm buying, even if it's the latest Prada,
it's always a book for this course, or a new program for the computer course I'm not taking, or extra tuition for Psych, of course, It's not actually Psych, but advanced mocha drinking."
Tara's giggle grew and she nodded. The first thoughts that she might actually be somewhere she was wanted grew within her and she sat on her bed.
Paige crossed the room to her desk and took a coat from the chair.
"Well, I'll see you a bit later, I've got a couple of friends I'm meeting for lunch." With that, Paige left and Tara was alone in her room for the first time.
She glanced at Paige's side of the room, at the posters on the wall again, then at the closet. It's door stood open, and the rail was filled with brightly coloured clothes. Tara glanced at the three skirts hanging in her own closet, all dark, earthy tones.
She shrugged and wondered if there was a charity shop in Sunnydale. Tara stood and looked at the clock on the wall.
Tara decided that there was enough time to get the books she needed from the library, and to explore a little.
She picked up her coat and after a moment of swallowing her fear, Tara opened the door and looked into the hallway.
Seeing that it was clear, she stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her.
Clutching her bag to her chest, she made her way to the stairs. As she passed through the foyer, a voice behind her called her name.
# Tara turned, surprise evident on her face that someone knew her.
She quickly realised that it was someone else being called as a tall boy in a football jersey jogged past her to wrap his arms arounda tall, thin girl with curiously green hair.
Tara thought she pretty, but the dark circles beneath her eyes gave her a haunted look.
Tara broke the gaze with which she had watched this girl, and walked towards the exit of the dormitory.
Once outside, she peered intently at the map she had been provided, trying to find her way to the library. she moved off in what she hoped was the right direction.
After nearly an hour of getting lost and becoming increasingly frantic as she searched, she stumbled up the last step and walked into the huge library.
She gazed up at the high, beamed ceiling. Two girls, around her age she assumed, were discussing their school library. Tara was struck by how pretty the one, a red-head, was.
This girl seemed far more excited than her blonde friend, who looked like she shared Tara's abject fear of this new place.
When they were shushed by the librarian, the pretty one got even more excited, glancing towards Tara.
Tara's eyes lowered immediately and she walked further into the library, hoping to find the books she needed here. Her meager amount of money would not allow her to buy many new books.
After a hour of searching, she walked towards the counter, with an armful of dog-eared, crumpled books with tattered covers.
She deposited them on the counter, and, once checked out, put them into her bag. At least, she put as many as she could into it, the rest would have to be carried back to her room in her arms.
The next morning, she awoke with a start, the dream of being back home was so real. She almost cried out, but the sight of the strange room reminded her where she was.
She sat there, the bed covers wrapped tightly around her, quietly terrified, her heart pumping.
After a few minutes, she began to calm down, and, although the fear never really dissipated, it always lessened.
It would return later, she knew. It would always be with her, that fear of discovery, that fear that people would learn what she was.
Tara's next few days were spent quietly moving around. She went from one class to another, then back to her dorm.
It was only when she finally plucked up the courage to visit the magic shop, that she learned there was a Wicca group in the university.
The strangest part of that time was finding Paige's things gone one evening. A note left on her bed announced that she had gone back to her parents, unable to cope with the stress.
Tara's night was spent quietly then, She missed Paige.
The first time she visited the group, she was surprised to find it full of girls that were more concerned about baking and fashion, than about exploring the culture and history of the Wiccan faith.
She constantly debated whether to leave or not, but another surprise awaited her.
When she arrived at what was going to be her last meeting, the red-headed girl from the library was there.
She introduced herself as Willow, and seemed more knowledgeable than the rest.
Yet, that was only the smallest surprise. The feeling of power that surrounded the girl was staggering. Tara felt herself looking to Willow for her views more and more.
Tara went to sleep that night, wondering how she could approach Willow.
She fell asleep, dreaming of perfect moments in which she and Willow would engage in conversation.
The next morning, as she made her way to her class, she was surprised by how quiet the corridor was. As she passed a girl crying, she sensed something was wrong and tried to find out what.
She quickly found that she had no voice, and neither did the girl who was crying.
All her experience pointed to a spell, and so she pulled the small cardboard box from under the bed and took out the few spell books her mother had left her.
After a hour of searching, she found several that could be used to invoke silence, but the counter-spells were beyond her own understanding.
Tara knew then she needed help. Powerful help.
It only took 20 minutes to find Willow's room number, and with hardly a backward glance, she set out, swallowing the terror that was starting to swell within her.
Less than half a hour after that, Tara and Willow were sitting in a room, shivering in fear. Then, they both noticed that it had gone.
They stood together and Tara looked down to see she was still holding Willow's hand. She let go suddenly and tried to push the cabinet out of the way.
When it wouldn't budge, Willow lent her strength and they slid it aside. They both silently made their way outside. Tara pointed to her own down room, and Willow nodded. She escorted Tara
back to her room. Tara hadn't felt this safe since her mother had passed on. Once there, Willow smiled at her.
"Well, I have to rum, my friend's probably in trouble, but, um, do you want to meet up tomorrow? maybe for lunch? I think there's a few things we need to talk about, like, well, the magic and, um, the things that were chasing you down the corridor."
Tara smiled and nodded and with that Willow was heading towards the exit.
Tara watched Willow walk away, and closed the door. She walked back to her bed and lay down.
She found herself wishing the young wiccan had stayed longer, and a wistful smile played on her lips. She thought to herself that she might have made a friend for the first time in years. Someone who, like her, knew things and could do things that no-one else could. Willow was powerful, Tara could tell, but she hadn't tapped into that power yet. She slid under the covers, still dressed and pulled her pillow into her arms, hugging it tight, her only wishes being that she could talk to Willow more tomorrow, and that the young witch wouldn't find out her secrets. She waited in the cafeteria for over a hour the next day, but Willow didn't appear. Tara's imagination began it's usual tricks. At first, she imagined Willow was merely late, then, as the time wore on, she thought Willow was hurt, or worse. Then, the thoughts began that perhaps Willow had only been nice to her last night because of the danger. As she began to convince herself of this, she stood and walked out, returning to her room. Halfway there, she heard a voice calling her name. She turned, almost certain that the caller was trying to attract the attention of some-one else, maybe the green haired girl again.
She was surprised as she saw Willow hurrying towards her.
&"Tara, I'm so sorry, I got caught up with a friend. There was something we needed to check out about last night"
Tara nodded "That's ok, I mean, if y-you need more time,I don't mind" Willow laughed and shook her head
"No, it's fine, we do a lot of this sort of thing." Tara nodded again, and they both set off walking and chatting about various things.
When Tara returned to her room, she found herself shivering. She couldn't believe that she had spent a nice afternoon with someone that might just be a kindred spirit.
She felt a irresistible urge to look at herself in the mirror.
As she peered into it, she thought she could see small movements taking place under her skin. Almost as if she was changing
She suddenly realised that this was almost the longest she had ever spent with her reflection, and instead of feeling fear, she giggled softly.
Then, her anxiety returned with force, and she thought she saw her eyes burn a baleful green, she could see the demon inside her, and she cried out.
Flinging herself onto the bed, she buried her face in the pillows.
Morning came, and Tara awake, confusion reigning in her mind when she saw she was still dressed. Then it came back to her, yesterday with Willow.
Then the sadness returned, as she remembered what she saw, or maybe thought she saw. She was just about to leave when there was a knock at the door.
Tara opened it and Willow stood there, holding a small box. She grinned at Tara
"Well, hello, erm, I bet you're wondering why i'm here right? cause I would be, well, If I was you and not me, and I appeared at your door, or my door.
Ok, Now i'm confusing myself, so I guess, I MUST be confusing you right?"
Tara couldn't help but let out a giggle at that, she shook her head
"I think i get it, what, um, what do you need?"
Willow held out the box. "Happy Thursday" she announced. Tara took the box and opened it, Inside were several candles, purple, and blue and green
"They're scented, with smells, so you light them and sniff. " Tara opened her mouth to decline the gift.
Willow interrupted, her face set in a determined look "Now, you see this face? My friends know this, so you should to.
THIS is my resolved face, and resolved face-Willow means no arguments from people. Ok?"
"I'm a friend?" Tara smiled, but her heart fluttered as she anticipated the answer.
"Uh-huh, we saved each other's lives, and that's kinda a friendly thing to do in my book. It's also a pretty regular occurrence in my life"
Willow's smile was infectious "So, If you wanna be a Willow-Pal, I think there's a few things you should know."
Tara's smile grew as she invited Willow into her room, they both sat on the bed, and Tara listened as Willow told her about being a witch, being Jewish, and being friends with a Vampire Slayer. She soon realised that her arrival in Sunnydale would be something she would always regard as being the moment that changed her life.
Lyndon Barry - December 2009